he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
These tits shall not be calmed
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