just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
