He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
