your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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