I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize