Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
