he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize