Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
