White coat. Heels.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Randomize