first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
