Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I touched a dick in church today
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
