I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
