I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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