I wannas sexs uuuuu
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
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