My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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