oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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