Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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