I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
