frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
And then the night went full on bisexual.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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