Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
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