is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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