im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
