i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Randomize
