i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Randomize
