I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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