I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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