I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
