so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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