Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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