Porn is love you can see.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
