look no pants
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize