508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
