There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
