i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
