The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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