Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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