There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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