WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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