If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Randomize
