Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
So much rum. So many feels.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
