Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Even the bartender felt bad for me
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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