I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
