His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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