the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
