every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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