the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
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