i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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