i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Send help, water and tortillas.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
