All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Oh god it's open bar.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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