Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Randomize
