I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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