just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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