Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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