He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
