I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
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