...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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