Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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