every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize