Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
