return my video game
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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