there was a trapeze. enough said
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
