It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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