Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
