Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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