Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
It's Friday. Sex?
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
4 words: hood of his car
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
