Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
